Callie’s Scattered Parts

Before I start to write, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m getting a tad too negative on what I’m about to rant. I mean most of whats below put men in a bad light and kind of makes one reassess if men can ever be trusted at all. Don’t get me wrong, of course I do wish I am in a lovey dovey relationship with a man who is righteous, well-organised, kind-hearted, caring, good-natured and love me whole-heartedly and only me. Then again, the cynical part of me can’t help booing at such notions calling myself naive and gullible. So trying to walk on the fine line that separates the idealistic and love-craving side versus the acidic critical nature is sometimes a much tortured affair.

I have signed up at lovehappens, a website that helps pair up people. I made my profile, probably about 2 years back and paid almost no attention to it, except for the regular updates I get in my emails. I seldom login there because I’m not interested in finding people just for the sake of "lets try and fall in love with each other". Admittedly, love should be a God-induced coincidence that brings two people together, sometimes with a few trials scattered along the way. However, with a society developing so fast and soaking up readily the fastfood culture, it is no wonder such websites  that offer instant companions are popping up all over the place.

Reading the mails from the guys can be rather entertaining. It opened my eyes so much and made me laugh so hard. I have listed some below, word for word - except for those comments I have in (brackets).

The mails I get from the men are varied and many. I understand that it is not easy for a guy, having paid for a service to enable them to mail others in Lovehappens, to actually come up with interesting enough messages to warrant a reply from their coveted females.

For obvious reasons, I’ll be masking out company names and emails with ###.

( Now, there are those mundane ones like )

hi there!
hi callie,
just came across your profile and would like to know u better.
care 2 be frens?

Just drop me an email.

see ya!
Markus

( and then there are the strange ones who can’t speak proper English: )

hiiiiiiiiiii
Hello pretty lady,compliment of the day and how are you doing, Hope fine.Dear,i like what i saw in your profile,you look cute and goergous.
Dear,i am Jones confidence,a single man of 32 years old from Africa,but i live here in Malaysia country for my studies,i we like to know you so that we can grow up in harmony and in love but i hate games oak,and you sound matured and good to my likening.Hope to hear a good answer from you soon,and you can add me with my yahoo id, ###@yahoo.com or MSN messenger ###@hotmail.com,so that we can have a better talk ok,hope to hear from you soon, take good care,cheers,Bye
Confidence Jones

hiiiiiiiiiii
how are you i see your foto you very nic and very sexy..ohh

am toto from syria my old 30 single

do you have webcam ..can i see you online bade sexy you with me
###@hotmail.com

( and the disillusioned ones )

Hello
Hi Beautiful,

Sometimes it is just the thought which tells you to know a person and befriend. Little does that thought wonder whether the other person has the same inkling or not. Never mind, I was supposed to contact you, so I am doing it. If we are destined to know each other, time will show the way.

Take care and have a nice day. I like your profile..
Ciao
Pawan

( and these two, the cheapo angmo who won’t pay for the email service and the loser angmo who probably can’t get a girl back where he’s from. )

can you email me or chat at ###@yahoo.com ?
Hi this is Roland from Germany

I just got a ONE day free pass for mailing here …
so please don’T respond here - but mail me
to my yahoo address
or lets chat there.

###@yahoo.com

Hope to see you soon

Roland

hi
I liked your profile and just wanted to take a minute to say hi. I live in Florida in the US and am looking for a woman to spend the rest of my life with.
You can write me at ###@hotmail.com if you are interested.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Eric

( The Mr Lost for words : )

Hello
Hi. Thought I would try to make the contact first. Not sure what to write in here. Perhaps we could start a topic somewhere. In case you can’t reply here, I include my email here. ###@kkk.sg

( and the Mr no-english - how the hell he expect me to understand??? )

moi mountassir et visite on marrocio
moin mountassir
comment to t’appelle.

( and the potentially psycho who thinks I will simply divulge my numbers to him, wish I can post his face and you’ll agree totally with me…)

Hi ,

I am Kelvin .
Work as Technical Support at ### .

I would like to be friend with you . Hope you will reply .
You can contact me at :
HP : ###
msn : ###@hotmail.com

If you don’t mind ,can i have your phone number and msn ??

Look forward to hear from you soon

( and then there is the poetic one who attempts at some psychic reading into my personality, nonetheless, he must be a romantic at heart, who knows? )

hello babe
hello
i really appreciate meeting you on the net. how are you doind? . so i just want to let you know
how much i feel versince i meet you eventhough i ,ve not seen your face
,but i believe and something keeps telling me that you are a very
responsible person and i will really want to love u with my heartand
soul
and just believe u will reciprocate my love4 u. please can you send
your pictures to my box today at least to kee[pmy mind at pease
your solomon ###@yahoo.com
A Pseudodependency

Long time passed since life made sense,
When all feelings seemed sharp and alive,
Emotions mounted from moment to moment,
Joyousness and pain were so easy to surmise;

Devils laughter hovers all around,
Inviting discourse within my mind,
Uninspired ideas in a barren landscape,
Insanity and logic reluctantly intertwine;

A pitiful pattern of habitual ways,
Sitting quietly amongst all your things,
Touching the sentiment in every treasure,
Waiting to hear that song you always sing;

Walking in circles, running into walls,
Going and doing is impossible to bare,
Just trying to match my pants to a shirt,
Becomes such a chore when your’ not there;

Oblivious prisoner within my own despair,
Lost and all alone like a floundering ship,
A world devoid of your delicate charms,
Hurry, my dear, come home from your trip!

( But among all, this takes the cake! A seemingly decent looking chap who has a successful career, probably married, late 30s and started off pretty normal at first, wait till you get to read the later half! )

Hi,

You sound like an interesting character whom I would love to get to know.

Just a brief introduction of myself. I enjoy a lot of jogging and swimming, though I also do golf, cycling and other outdoor activities. But do not take me as a person with lots of muscle, I am glad that I have a toned body.

I am not all brawn and not brains. I have a MBA from top business school in the US and have always been an achiever at my job, getting promotions and managing people more senior than myself.

I also enjoy the finer side of life, wining and dining, and I know how to have fun and let loose.

I am a very open minded person, and do not mind the occasional flings. Other gals have commented about what I can do for them, bringing them to the seventh heavens. I enjoy the chase, the flirting, most of all the foreplay, tantalising you to no end, and of course bringing you to the ultimate high. Multiple orgasms is a definite.

I do travel a lot, and will love to bring you on some of my trips, of course, all expense paid.

Well, enough of myself, do reply if you are interested in getting to know me too. Alternatively, you can also email me directly at ###@yahoo.com.

Cheers,
Benjamin

See, these are just the tip of the iceberg. These men, the bulk which I have not listed, most of whom I believe are leading married lives, acting out the loving husband and doting father roles are actually on the side looking for some "fun". Has our lofty love ideals evolve with the technological age and the ease of digital communication, to degenerate into a dual-natured facet, finding thrills in having successful sex-capades as long as no one gets  caught? Is the good old faithful gentlemen a dying breed? You decide and leave your comments.

~ by auntycallie on July 20, 2007.