Callie’s Scattered Parts

Geminians are supposed to be a body of 2 distinct opposites and constantly in endless tortures of internal debates. Not surprising that many Geminians turned schizos. Being a true blue Gemini myself, and mentally living dangerously near the schizo/psycho zone, I realised I am more than 2 opposites. Perhaps, the reason lies in my moon signs (can’t remember, although my dear Jo who calculated my moon signs told me that I have a practical side) that is keeping me sane and safe but it also created more internal struggles and many many more Callies.

Now, there is a Giant in Callie. Her name is Lazybone. She dominates my mind and muscle when it comes to ironing clothes, washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, tidying up Callie’s stuff, and everything else you would associate with the word "chore".  This Lazybone has her own opposite as well. Her name is Ms Hardwork and she is a Hobbit. This two creatures are creating much problems in my daily life in all things mundane that all of us have to deal with on a daily basis.

When at home or at office, and when my thirst gets to an unbearable point, I will drag myself to the water source and if Lazybone is sleeping, Ms Hardwork will make me a nice drink like Hot Honey. However, when Lazybone is awake, I’ll quench my thirst by merely taking a handful of sips from the tap and walking away without any thought of filling up a cup. When dishes are piling up in the sink, Lazybone will say, "aiyah, no need to wash lah, what’s wrong with letting it wait another day, afterall it’s not as if you don’t have clean plates or cups at this moment" and right after this comment, there will be a meek tiny voice that goes " but..but..but.. somebody got to wash it sooner or later and Simon always end up the one doing it …" However, this Ms Hardwork has absolutely no effect on me. Another classic example is the bed. At the point of waking up every morning, Ms Hardwork will be the first to go "fold your quilt and make the bed…" and that wakes up Lazybone  with a rude  punch in the head and she’ll roar " WHY MAKE THE BED?????  WHO IS GOING TO SEE???? IN LESS THAN 16 HOURS, YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE A MESS OF IT ANYWAY!!!!!! DON’T BE STUPID LAH!!!!!"

So, at the face of every "chore", Lazybone and Ms Hardwork go into a discussion. Of course it is not much of a discussion in every sense of the word because it is pretty obvious who wins 99% of the time.

My friends, please forgive me if I ever inconvenienced you in a way that is displayed through leaving the used cup on your dining table, not putting your magazines to where it belonged after I read it, or in any moment that you want to label me "buay zi tong’. My partner, my travel-mates, please forgive me if I don’t do enough of my supposed share of housework or when I leave the toilet floor wet, or make a mess of the hotel room etc etc. I am used to listening to Lazybone that she is now my second nature so much so that most of the time Ms Hardwork fades into oblivion. Do not be mistaken that I am doing it in deliberation, I do not make it a point to go about my life to inconvenience or piss anyone off. I just do not "notice things" 90% of my awake time. When I am told of any specific incident which I should strongly improve, trust me, I try my very very best to engage Ms Hardwork into the picture but please please don’t strike me off your favourite friends’ list in times when I do slack.

I know it is hard, especially for those who have to put up with me, that you have to clean after me. I am LAZY. I CAN’T change. Still, pardon my audacity for asking this, I hope my friends can love me for who I am, and love even Giant Lazybone - she is a gentle giant and totally harmless, really.

On a side note, and for those who don’t know me that well, I hope I don’t give you the impression that I have bad personal hygiene. Even Giant Lazybone is vain and she takes great care to ensure every armpit hair is plucked, my legs are epilated, my body and hair are washed by a nice smelling shower foam and shampoo, and I am definitely pampered by Kenzo-Flower before I go out of the house everyday. Yes, personal vanity is an exception, always.

~ by auntycallie on September 16, 2006.