What 30 means finally …
My birthday has seen passed …. I remember so many friends asking me the inevitable question : what it feels like reaching the big 3 O. Honestly, it didn’t quite sink in til a couple of days ago. Guess my close friends have all along known my reaction has always been rather retarded.
Being 30, it’s difficult, it’s fun. It is a time I reflect and reminisce the great friendships that had come and go, the joys and tears of life floating and moving like snowy clouds - so real and yet unretainable. Memory is a strange and wonderful thing, like the body’s immunity system, it has the ability to fade the unwanted stains and keep the useful ones, especially those that warm your heart and bring joyful tears to your eyes. The biggest lessons I have learnt is to let go and to appreciate. Many times when we encounter the hardships and obstacles that come so naturally with being labelled “adult”, we are adviced to ‘take it easy’. Yeah right! So easy to say than done! But with age and a continually mounting pile of life problems (at least in my case) I am often left with only 2 choices - take it easy and be happy or dwell in mental mud and be depressed. It is a constant struggle still but I make a note to remind myself that I do have a choice. It is such a fine line that sometimes I can lose my view of what happiness is. It is a tendency, I believe especially of Geminis like me, to often argue and fight within myself. No doubt I despair over the many unfairness but I always push forward with greater tenacity that can shock even myself… Of course, I couldn’t have gotten this far without the countless help received along the way. The biggest contributor is no other than my mum, so completely selfless and always ready to lend a financial hand. Makes me regret all those stubborn arguments and hurt I have probably given her during my rebellious years and Definitely makes me feel so small …So, Mummy, I Love U!!!!
My friends, how can life have any meaning without the existence of friends? I am not of those who enjoy a massive quantity of companions. For me, it is always the quality that counts. Yes, some whom I had regarded as friends had misunderstood me, betrayed me and hurt me. But hey! looking on the bright side I do have good friends, friends that I know I can count on in times of sadness and need and to share all those fun and crazy moments. These are the people who see the goodness in me and give me a comforting smile even when I disappoint and a pat on my shoulder to cheer me on. These are the people who fuel me and keep me real. Who are these people? In no particular order : Tommy, Jo, Bavani, Serene Chew, Kwanghe, Simon, Shooling, Xueping, Manling, Marc, Mark Png, Peizhen, and perhaps, given my not so good memory, may have missed out some …. I am extremely honoured to have all of you as my friends and I promise that I will be there and do whatever I can to be worthy of your friendships. I LOVE U ALL!!!
To conclude, I shall quote what one of my best friends said to me on 20th September 2004 : Tough times make great men!
May I get only wiser and my path forward, smoother. Cheers!
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