Callie’s Scattered Parts

I am deeply perturbed by a recent comment made by one of my gal friends. She said she fantasized about handsome guys, mostly hollywood celebrities when she is having sex with erm (must protect her identity) … her permanent boyfriend. Firstly I have no idea why she told me that and I have forgotten the circumstances that led to it. Now, in case some of you are wondering if I’m merely talking about myself but just too shy to admit, NO! It’s not me. It’s really one of my gal friends.

I am shocked at such sexual hypocritical behaviour. Ok, her boyfriend may not be looking quite appetizing I must say but if you cannot look at a person and think about the person while doing it, I think it is SAD. Perhaps, I can hardly fathom her dilemma because I never did have any ugly boyfriends, ok, maybe 1 ugly lover over a 2 months affair before but even then I do not recall having to fantasize about other men while bedding him and that was because he was such a great sex partner that carnal emotions just overtook reality. Maybe then, given my life experiences of having sex partners that were either normal to above average looking OR partners that were very good at inducing female orgasms OR both, I can never really understand what my gal friend is going through. I would assume that he (her partner) is terrible in sex given that it is already a proven fact he looks awful. So, what would most girls do in her position? I guess that’s why the word “sexual fantasy” is created to make up for the lacking in reality. Oh, come to think of it, I feel sorry for her.

Oh wait wait, this gal friend of mine isn’t a good-looker herself. I am not being biased and I’m not making this up out of spite. Her looks, an agent that can induce de-errection, is a culmination of genuine comments made by all my male friends who know her. I know this may sounds mean (but being mean is not my intention here), a guy friend once said he’ll rather fuck doggie style with JU-ON than this gal friend of mine!! So, the point of mentioning all this is because I am wondering what her boyfriend is thinking of while having sex with her - probably not JU-ON I hope.

Can you imagine, TWO ugly people going at it and most likely fantasizing of better partners??? NOW, that is doubly SAD isn’t it? So thank God for giving humans the power of fantasizing and of mental substitutions or people like them will not be having any sex life at all.

There is also the moral issue that has been bugging me. Is it right to commit mental adultery, especially at the moment of showing your love to your partner? I guess there are many others and not just my gal friend who are equally guilty of it. I am not here to point fingers and take the high moral ground, but because I personally would rather take on an actual lover and commit REAL adultery than secretly wishing I am making love to someone else. It is just too torturous. I mean, if I don’t enjoy it with the person I am bedding with then what is so difficult about simply finding someone else I can do it with and be at the moment - both body and mind? Also, doesn’t the meaning of true love includes accepting the person you love as who he/she is and won’t that mean enjoying his/her body and having thoughts of only him/her when you are having sex? The equation goes - if you are thinking of someone else while having sex, it will mean you don’t love the person in front of you truly - and if that is so, it will be just sex without love - and if it is just sex without love, then the sex better be bloody good!!! So, if there is no love and you are having bad sex, so much so that you have to fantasize about the face of some Hollywood star, you are a Loser man!

Well, I guess it is a fact there are many losers among us, people who are trapped in such a tragic sex life because they cannot find someone else better even if they did try. Let us wish them the blessing of having a most creative and imaginative mind then.

~ by auntycallie on August 30, 2006.